• When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
  

             When the punchline is a parent.

• Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

            That’s just how I roll.

• What do you call a cheese that’s not yours?

            Nacho cheese! 

• Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

             There was nothing left but de Brie.

• What do you get from a pampered cow?

            Spoiled milk.

• How does NASA organize a party?

            They planet.

• What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

            Attire

• Two goldfish are in a tank.

          One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”

• Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

            The don’t meet the koalafications.

• What did one toilet say to the other?

            You look flushed.

• I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger.

            Then it hit me.

• What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

            It gets toad away.

• Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

           That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

• Where do beef burgers go to dance?

           The meatball.

• What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

            I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

• Want to hear a roof joke?

            The first one’s on the house.

• What did the left eye say to the right eye?

            Between you and me, something smells.

• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

            A carrot.

• What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?

           Patty!

• What do you call a bear with no ears?

            A “B”!

• Why are teddy bears never hungry?

            Because they’re always stuffed.

• What building in New York has the most stories?

            The public library!

• Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?

            Because he always has a great fall.

• Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?

            Mount Rushmore.

• Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?

            Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!

• What time do you go to the dentist?

            At tooth-hurty.

• Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?​

            Because he had a vowel movement.

•   What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

           R2 detour